Thursday, February 2, 2012
Weigh-in: Week 3
This week I weighed in at 246.2 for a loss of 3.4 lbs. I had the stomach virus last week which I guess helped with weight loss. However, I have to get back on track this week. I have ate way more than I should have now that I am feeling better. I've got to start exercising again. Getting off my routine has totally messed me up and I feel like I am starting from day 1 again. I've got to find my motivation once again because currently I have none :(
Monday, January 23, 2012
No excuses!
No excuses is the mantra of Biggest Loser this year and it has really hit home. I guess I would be the queen of excuses when it comes to diet and exercise. My most common excuses are: I don't have time to work out, I hate healthy food, I'm not strong enough, and I have failed so many times before. I'm in week 2 and I still struggle with this but I am trying to erase this mentality or at least scream loudly enough to drown it out! I will make time to work out and eat healthy! I am strong enough! And failure is not an option!!
Weigh-in: Week 2
Well I weighed in today at 249.6. So I lost about 2.5 pounds which I guess is average. I was hoping for more but I know that is a healthy weight loss. I just want to see a difference faster but it takes time and I am in it for the long hall. I was sick all last week too so I wasn't able to work out. I need to get back on track today and maybe I will see more of a weight loss next week. The whole family has been sick this week with colds and stomach virus. It's a bad time of year. So far the baby has stayed healthy and hopefully she will continue to be.
We set our vacation dates! We are going to the beach June 10-16. It has given me even more incentive to lose weight. I will still be far from "beach ready" but I am hoping to lose 50 lbs by then so I can at least feel comfortable wearing shorts. It has been several years since we have been to the beach so I am looking forward to it!
We set our vacation dates! We are going to the beach June 10-16. It has given me even more incentive to lose weight. I will still be far from "beach ready" but I am hoping to lose 50 lbs by then so I can at least feel comfortable wearing shorts. It has been several years since we have been to the beach so I am looking forward to it!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
My story
Well, first and foremost...I am a stay at home mom to 3 beautiful girls (ages 10,6, and 6 months). I have been married to my wonderful hubby for 11 yrs. and I am *ahem* 30 yrs old (that's still a little painful). I lead a pretty normal, boring life. That is me in a nutshell...on the surface. But there is a lot more that is hidden from the world. I spend most of my days putting on my happy face but deep down there is a woman full of insecurities, self-loathing, and pain. Another detail I forgot to mention...I am obese. Wow, just typing that hurts and starts the tears flowing.
Here is my story...
I spent the majority of my life what one would call "average weight". But I never had self esteem. I remember hating how I looked even then. At 16 and 140 pounds, I starved myself to try and lose weight. No one knew. My mom took me to the doctor because she thought I was sick but really I was just hurting. It lasted for a period of about 6 months. I got down to 115 but still didn't feel better about myself. Then I met my future husband at 17. He made me feel special and loved. I managed to pull myself out and started eating again. The next couple years were great. I didn't care as much about what I looked like because I felt loved and happy. We got married in 2000 at the age of 19. Two months later we found out we were expecting. We were quite surprised! Our first daughter was born October 2001. I had gained 65 pounds during the pregnancy. I guess I bought into the "eating for two" line. So now I had this beautiful baby girl but the old feelings crept in again. I was 20 years old, an overwhelmed first time mom, still a newlywed, and now overweight. I couldn't understand why the weight didn't just drop off. Everybody said "You're young, you'll lose it!" But I didn't. And over the next 3 yrs I gained even more. In 2005, we welcomed our 2nd baby girl. And also more weight. I gained about 30 lbs this time (not too bad) but I now weighed 230. I thought how did I get here. I don't want anyone to think for a second that I blame my weight on my children. That is not at all what I am saying. They are blessing and I love them dearly. I tried to diet many times. I would lose a few pounds, become discouraged, quit, eat, gain it back. It is such a viscious cycle for me. I want to lose the weight so bad but somehow those same emotions drive me to eat. I eventually hit 250.
In 2009, through a series of events, we learned that I have an underactive thyroid which could explain some of the weight problems. I was put on medication to regulate it. In 2010, they discovered high insulin levels and said I was "pre-diabetic". I take medicine for that as well. In 2011, we welcomed our 3rd daughter. I managed to lose some weight beforehand and during, so I was still 250. This time I lost about 15 lbs afterwards but then I became very depressed about my weight and started eating again. (Yes, I know that doesn't make sense) I reached my highest weight ever: 257 lbs. Not a number I am proud of. I vowed that it would not go any higher.
On January 9th, I started my diet. As you can see, I am just beginning this journey. I have started this blog mostly as a way to express myself and keep myself accountable. It doesn't matter to me if anybody else reads it. I am determined this time. I no longer want to spend every day hating myself. I want to show my daughters how to have a healthy self esteem and how to love yourself. I want to have more energy to play with my kids and to just live life. I also know that obesity can lead to many health problems, which have already started, and I want to be there to see my children grow up as well as my grandchildren. I can't fail this time. It's too important! I have already spent 1/3 of my life overweight. I don't want to spend another year, 5 years, 10 years or more this way. No excuses. The time is now.
Here is my story...
I spent the majority of my life what one would call "average weight". But I never had self esteem. I remember hating how I looked even then. At 16 and 140 pounds, I starved myself to try and lose weight. No one knew. My mom took me to the doctor because she thought I was sick but really I was just hurting. It lasted for a period of about 6 months. I got down to 115 but still didn't feel better about myself. Then I met my future husband at 17. He made me feel special and loved. I managed to pull myself out and started eating again. The next couple years were great. I didn't care as much about what I looked like because I felt loved and happy. We got married in 2000 at the age of 19. Two months later we found out we were expecting. We were quite surprised! Our first daughter was born October 2001. I had gained 65 pounds during the pregnancy. I guess I bought into the "eating for two" line. So now I had this beautiful baby girl but the old feelings crept in again. I was 20 years old, an overwhelmed first time mom, still a newlywed, and now overweight. I couldn't understand why the weight didn't just drop off. Everybody said "You're young, you'll lose it!" But I didn't. And over the next 3 yrs I gained even more. In 2005, we welcomed our 2nd baby girl. And also more weight. I gained about 30 lbs this time (not too bad) but I now weighed 230. I thought how did I get here. I don't want anyone to think for a second that I blame my weight on my children. That is not at all what I am saying. They are blessing and I love them dearly. I tried to diet many times. I would lose a few pounds, become discouraged, quit, eat, gain it back. It is such a viscious cycle for me. I want to lose the weight so bad but somehow those same emotions drive me to eat. I eventually hit 250.
In 2009, through a series of events, we learned that I have an underactive thyroid which could explain some of the weight problems. I was put on medication to regulate it. In 2010, they discovered high insulin levels and said I was "pre-diabetic". I take medicine for that as well. In 2011, we welcomed our 3rd daughter. I managed to lose some weight beforehand and during, so I was still 250. This time I lost about 15 lbs afterwards but then I became very depressed about my weight and started eating again. (Yes, I know that doesn't make sense) I reached my highest weight ever: 257 lbs. Not a number I am proud of. I vowed that it would not go any higher.
On January 9th, I started my diet. As you can see, I am just beginning this journey. I have started this blog mostly as a way to express myself and keep myself accountable. It doesn't matter to me if anybody else reads it. I am determined this time. I no longer want to spend every day hating myself. I want to show my daughters how to have a healthy self esteem and how to love yourself. I want to have more energy to play with my kids and to just live life. I also know that obesity can lead to many health problems, which have already started, and I want to be there to see my children grow up as well as my grandchildren. I can't fail this time. It's too important! I have already spent 1/3 of my life overweight. I don't want to spend another year, 5 years, 10 years or more this way. No excuses. The time is now.
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